How Do You Decide Who You Are

If you ask yourself who you are that might be a painful question. We are often stuck thinking we are between who we are and who we want to be. Do you describe yourself in nouns, adjectives or verbs or all three? Are you finished or becoming?

Ask most people and they start with something like I am a father, a computer technician, a bike rider, and a good friend. People describe themselves in their static state. A person using verbs might say I am continuously growing, loving, nurturing, exercising, and meditating.

A person using nouns, adjectives and verbs might say I am growth oriented, ambitious, nurturing, a runner, skier, father, writer, and exerciser. Some words describe our static state and some describe a state of motion, and some describe a state of becoming.

My prime word is I am self-actualizing and that is my overall goal. I consider who I am a verb. I want to be growing every day and since that is my life goal, it is who I am. I break it down into smaller categories that are verbs stating that I am always learning, creating, contributing, eating healthy, and exercising. These action words help me self-actualize.

In my static state, I am a writer, surf instructor, thriving coach, bike rider, snowboarder, reader, and a parent. Whereas the nouns describe my static state, my action words describe my evolving states. I want to include certain activities to see how far I can go. I don’t want to stop growing. My goal is not material accumulation. If I live successfully, everything I have will be enough.

Would you trade what you are doing for more money for something you don’t like doing? I have done this. After a while, the money is not worth how you are experiencing your life. The act of becoming more of what you like is the most fulfilling. My life is successful because I get to do what I want. Who I am will keep evolving. My days are who I am because of what I am doing.

I evolved from wanting to write books to writing books. I evolved from surfing to wanting to teach surfing to teaching surfing. I evolved from wanting to be healthy with good habits to being very healthy. None of these is static. I am continuously evolving to be better in every category.

One thing that is the bottom line is that I have to be passionate about what I do. I need to feel love for what I do. I have to feel the connection between what I do and who I am. My daily time management includes what I do to define who I am. At the end of each day, I want to say that was a good day because I engaged in the growth activities that continue to redefine me.

If I post on Linked In, teach surfing, coach on thriving, ride my bike, and eat healthy, I am engaging in verb described activities that contribute to the nouns. I might say at any point that I am a good writer, a good coach, an avid bike rider, and healthy eater. My verbs lead to nouns that each year are more evolved than the year before.

The adjectives that describe how good of a writer or surfer I am this year will hopefully be more advanced next year. I am a writer. I am a good writer this year. I want to be a better writer next year. The same with coaching, health, snowboarding, and bike riding. You might also want to be a better mate, parent, and friend next year than this year.

It is natural to change as everything in nature is different each moment. Growth can go in the direction of improvement or deterioration. At some point we naturally deteriorate but it can be forestalled with the proper growth activities. As stated in the book Younger Next Year, we can be vital to the age of 85. We don’t have to go downhill at 50.

When asked who you are say I am evolving wonder of Nature that continuously surprises me with my progress. As a mantra I also like I am a continuously evolving force of Nature that inspires people with what I am becoming.

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