You Are in Charge of How Others See You

Humans have a built-in instinct to detect danger and to feel trust. These instincts are based in the Lizard brain which is our survival tool and in its most primitive sense may say attack or may say run. Think of all the new people you see and meet and you will remember you have a first impression.

Only a con can fool people for a while. Most people’s authentic self that they can’t hide will emerge for our instincts to take a reading. When we have a date encounter, all our senses will be judging what they pick up to give us a feeling if we want to move forward. Love at first sight is beyond thinking, it is our emotional sensors making a universal judgement reaching into our subconscious and instincts.

A sales call may go the same way. While we are using our words or listening to theirs, all our senses are operating like tenacles or radio antennas picking up signals and triggering our subconscious and instincts about what we are feeling. People are looking for our authentic selves and sometimes if we make a self-deprecating remark, it endears us to our listener because they realize we are not bragging, but willing to show our vulnerability.

When I was in real estate sales, one client said to me, “I trust you because you have an affidavit face.” I asked what that means, and he said your face says you don’t lie. This is not something you can fake. His senses got the vibration from me that I had integrity. I was in my early 20’s and truth is, I only had good intentions for people even though I never made that remark.

You develop who you are by starting inside and manifesting outward. This is a claim by Stephen Covey. Does what we do reshape who we are or does who we are shape what we do? It would be a good question to answer for yourself. Should your first question each morning be about what you want to do or who you want to be?

This is the reason my main goal is self-actualization. All my efforts are to develop who I am supposed to be and I don’t know who that is until I test myself in every way. Why does the mountain climber want to climb Everest? He is seeking an answer to who he is. Can he muster the courage, strength, stamina and will power to push himself further than he has ever gone? The answers to who he is and what he does are working together.

What is the “why” for extreme athletes? They risk their lives in their tests. An adrenaline junkie is one who gets high testing his capabilities and enjoying proving himself when at risk. A video gamer seeks this feeling but is safe. A special ops person seeks this feeling but he is not safe. Why they do it is to learn who they are and offer it to others.

What about entrepreneurs, leaders, and influencers? They are putting themselves and/or their ideas out where they are vulnerable to be judged as a winner or loser. Success or failure. They do not enjoy being safe and not testing who they are and what they were meant to be becomes their life.

You have to build a solid foundation of who you are and the habits you adopt to build who you will become. You first take care of your personal needs to be everything Nature intended for you. You consider your nutrition, fitness, and peace of mind. Just these three things can be your essence.

Then you consider how you express yourself in loving yourself, others, community, co-workers, your organization, your nation, mankind, and the planet. Your thoughts about each of these will resonate beyond your words with anyone you meet. You will express these sentiments gradually with your words beyond your intentions. If you have a feeling you hate mankind, you will not be able to hide this sentiment for long.

You live your passions. This drive will be evident quickly with anyone you meet. We naturally talk about what we love or demonstrate our values by how we act and what we day. Our behaviors say everything about us. If you live your passions, you are living your authentic self. Nothing emanates from us more beautifully than love and gratitude.

Start with your personal habits: nutrition, exercise, meditating, learning, creating, caring, protecting, and contributing. If your behaviors reflect these habits, you will emanate a strong level of trust and integrity. When you have built a strong set of habits that build who you are and what you contribute, you won’t have to say much about it for people to see who you are.

Have faith that being a good person may be your biggest achievement and contribution. Success you have from your endeavors will all start with your internal intentions of who you want to be. Your DNA is in full support of you developing everything possible for you and will stimulate every happiness hormone and neurotransmitter to support and reward you when you are on track with the right behaviors.

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As a Thriving Worker Consultant, I can engage in conversations with employers on how to begin the process of helping workers thrive and reach peak performance. It begins with a conversation to see how far an organization is willing to go to change the culture for workers.

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