Happiness is in Our DNA. How to Find It.
We are born happy. It is in our DNA. When we are born, most people are nurtured and their needs are met. They are held, cuddled, and nursed. What else could a baby want? Then as we become adolescents, most kids continue on a happy journey with lots of attention and nurturing.
Where does it go south? Most likely when we have to start doing things we don’t want to do, like study. Study becomes onerous if we can’t perform to expectations and we start to be judged by report cards, teachers or parents. It may continue when we start work and we need to make a living and become insecure from the demand and concerns we might not meet expectations.
Yes, stress is a happiness killer and so is fear. Then what we need is relief. This generation has come up with a term past generations would never have considered, work-life balance. In the past, survival was all that was important and happiness was a lucky side dish if you were fortunate.
In my generation, I was led to believe happiness was deserved after a big accomplishment that proved your worth and that you had paid your dues. The millennials set the new course in saying we want happiness now. They have wanted some control over how much time they work and how much time they have left for play.
Does Happiness Seem Elusive?
Happiness should not be as elusive as it seems. Some think happiness only comes winning the lottery and that is their only salvation. The truth is many are broke after a few years from winning. Many think accumulation brings happiness. We start adding up the possessions with house, car, clothes, jewelry, boat, and vacations.
Some people seeing the road most travel have opted not to enter the game, They find being a vagabond and testing their mettle against the world at large and surviving in all circumstances. An entrepreneur is a sort of vagabond. They also are testing their mettle against the resistance of being successful. Their resistance is the opportunity to serve others with their own passionate idea.
The reason vagabonds and entrepreneurs find passion and happiness in their pursuits is they get to find out who they are and decide it is more important than having others constrict their actions and judge them. The extreme athlete is the epitome of both. He risks his life to feel his purpose and wages all his skills and preparation against the odds.
Find the Adrenaline Junkie Inside You
Adrenaline junkies have also found this relief in testing their skills. Yes, video games don’t create world leaders, but the person playing gets to exercise all his skills in something he chooses. All of these activities are definitely anti-boring. Boring occurs when we are not challenged.
Struggling to survive and being bored in the pursuit is the worst of fates. For all the modern conveniences we enjoy, early man might have had a more satisfying life because he tested himself constantly and often won. He gathered food, raised children, lived in communities, connected to Nature, ate healthy, and exercised daily. His biggest concerns were starvation and getting attacked by wild animals.
In the modern ages we can get stuck in a boring life as one of the masses never getting to fully express who we are and not being appreciated for the talent we were born with to explore. Yes, in a word, happiness is exploring our self-actualization. This was Nature’s design and it is in our DNA.
Just thinking about an exciting way to improve who we are stimulates dopamine. Today, when I sent all my posts to Staples so I could construct my next book, I got a real happiness perk. Thinking about the opportunity to create something that might be a contribution has to be one of the reasons I was born. In any case, my brain reacts with happiness chemicals for every step of the progress.
You Were Born to Contribute
What were you born to contribute? This is the path of greatest happiness for you. Do you think you were born to be a mom or dad and that is your goal? Do you think you were born to climb Everest and that is your goal? Were you born to write songs and entertain? Were you born to lead others in a large organization?
You will find happiness every step of the way if you are focusing on becoming better. You are applying every resource you were gifted at birth to find how far Nature will let you go. You will have set backs but as Tony Robbins, self-help guru, says, if you think you have failed find a new strategy. Most successful people see failure as a learning point. We are too often led to believe as we grow up that failure means we are a loser. What is the worst taunt of bullies other than loser, loser, loser.
The worst taunt should be didn’t try, didn’t try, didn’t try. Didn’t try to find out why we are here and bet all our resources on making an effort to exit our comfort zone and get into the arena of vulnerability where who we are gets tested. Man up as they say. Women have testosterone too and they can man up and they do.
Happiness is “manning up” and taking steps to find out who we are. It is finding our purpose by exploring our potential. It is risking failure for the adrenaline rush of achieving something that for us is meaningful. You can start right now and happiness is right there waiting to hold your hand.
